Who should pay the bill on dates?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Captain Picard, Jul 9, 2017.

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Who should pay the bill on dates?

  1. The man, most of the time.

    20.0%
  2. The woman, most of the time.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. The individual who asks the other out.

    52.0%
  4. The individual who gets asked out.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. Both contribute proportionately.

    16.0%
  6. Other (please specify).

    12.0%
  1. Captain Picard

    Captain Picard Non mihi, non tibi, sed nobis.
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    With ideas like: tradition, chivalry, egalitarianism, and equality thrown into the mix, it is sure to be an interesting conversation. I look forward to your responses.

    Do considerations like: "Who does the asking/planning" or "On the first date" hold any significance? Perhaps there are temporal considerations as well?
     
  2. Struggler

    Struggler Sapient Meat
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    Whoever asks the other out on the date should pay. That's how it was with the first date I had with my current gf, and we still often go out using that same principle; if she suggests something to do, she'll usually pay, and vice versa. It's more comfortable when I pay, though, because I grew up in a society that expects the guy to do that. No big deal.
     
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  3. Fantasy

    Fantasy The Saint of SC
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    Depends on which date... If it is the first ones I would say 50/50 :) if everything is already serious either the man, either the peraon who asked out.... But I usually paid my part of the bill myself on the dates. It was more comfortable for me.
     
  4. Enies

    Enies Famous Member

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    relationships should be about teamwork. Abiding rigidly by gender norms is annoying but i don't think women really take issue with that. Most people are comfortable just doing what is normal and expected. But i think slowly people are less keen on following old traditions.
     
  5. StrawHats

    StrawHats Stuck in a chair
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    Take the woman to Costco. Free samples. No one pays. Both happy. No need for cinema tickets either. They show movies on their TV's as well.
     
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  6. ThisGuy

    ThisGuy Kin of the Cosmos
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    Whomever is slower at running out on the check.

    I'm all for equality, and fitness.
     
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  7. Narilka

    Narilka Destroyer of Worlds
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    Haha smh. Poor Bunny.

    When it comes to dating I always thought that it was the responsibility of whom asked first since I see it is an invitation. However there was a man I dated years ago who insisted on paying every time no matter what I did or said, it was easier to give in. His behavior suggested it made him feel manly.

    It all depends on the person and relationship dynamic there is no right or wrong answer for this. Different strokes for different folks as they say. :p
     
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  8. Shannon Apple

    Shannon Apple Sour Apple
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    It does depend on the person and the situation. Personally, I feel better if I can pay half, or if not, the next time is my treat. I don't feel all that comfortable letting someone else pay for me. That said, I did once go out with an Asian guy who insisted on paying every time. If I didn't let him, he'd get clearly insulted, so just like Narilka, it was easier to give in. In his case, I don't think it was him being manly, it was to do with culture. Most Irish guys aren't quite so chivalrous though and are more than happy for you to offer to split. XD.
     
  9. Grungie

    Grungie Established Member
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    I grew up where the guy has to pay, so I usually offer first. I won't get offended if she wants to pay part of it. Though with my past few girlfriends, if it was a multi-location date, I'd pay for the dinner, and she'd pay for the movie or whatever. Stuff like that.
     
  10. Scruffie

    Scruffie Pro Tarantula Bro-Fister
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    Usually whoever asks the other out I think, bit that being said I never assume they will and offer to pay for my half too. Once in a relationship I think it gets split more evenly. If I cook dinner for someone and they ask if they can bring anything, I'll suggest a bottle of wine or something, or vice versa I'd just take a bottle but I've never really felt it's tit for tat personally, and if I suggest a date I'll go with the intention of it being my shout
     
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  11. Mr. Mister

    Mr. Mister Is Breaking Down

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    Such a decision does not have an effect upon me as I don't go on dates. Never have and it's doubtful I will considering it may be too late in life for me to start now. But based upon what I do know, I would say that the initiator of the date should be the one to pay. At least for the first one. If others occur, then switch it up. One person pays one time, then other person the next time and so on. That way, each person bears a somewhat equal amount of weight into the relationship.
     
  12. Tonto-banchou

    Tonto-banchou "Well-Known" Member
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    If you're doing the inviting, then you're the one who's paying. If your date insists on paying, suggest that they pay for dessert instead. No payments for the invited person before the third date. It's like a rule or something.
     
  13. Scruffie

    Scruffie Pro Tarantula Bro-Fister
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    Why would it be too late to start? Never too late to start
     
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  14. Interest1ng

    Interest1ng SC's AmbASSador.... MAWP!!!

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    I think it depends on the person, the releationship, and how well you know the other person. Everyone is different and have different expectations for different situations. I would probably always pay, but when my wife and I first started dating. I didn't have a job or money. So she ended up paying a lot of the time.

    Traditionally the man would pay. My rule of thumb is due what you can afford. If you only have X amount of $$ in your account/wallet set the bar on what the other person can or can't get. I don't know though lol I always pay for dinner :D
     
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  15. Shi

    Shi The Aspirer
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    It depends on the person and the nature of the date.

    But... in my opinion...
    If it's the first date with a girl a guy never really met / dated before, a guy should always pay first. Regardless of the social norms and expectation, this is the strongest first impression you can make every time if the date is worth it. If the date went well, you guys had a great time, the guy pays, it's a win-win.

    Afterwards, it's whoever initiates the date.
    The girls that I've hooked and kept longer than a 3rd date are always the ones that I pay first, then afterwards, we work it out so that it's never just me. Reason being is that it shows that we're both financially responsible and that money is not a taboo because if it gets to the point of marriage: Marriage isn't just about love, it's about financials. Your money is her money, her money is your money. If you can't work this out, there's no way your relationship is going to work out. These are the girls who I may not be intimate with anymore, but we're still on great talking terms because the nature of our dates had always been about being together and having fun together, even if other factors didn't keep us in a relationship together.

    The girls that don't make it through a 3rd date for me are the ones who always expect me to pay and they're the ones that I don't keep in touch with because all they were looking for is a sugar daddy. They always want me to plan things, they always want me to pay and they want me to be the alpha male aggressor, which isn't really in my nature. I've gone on in relationships like this where I have to be an arrogant asshole dominant alpha dog for the majority of the relationship and it's exhausting. If by the third date, I'm dreading it, then yeah, it's a relationship I'm not willing to stay in.
     
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  16. Interest1ng

    Interest1ng SC's AmbASSador.... MAWP!!!

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    I think you meant her money is her money :D
     
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  17. Dunn x Dolo

    Dunn x Dolo King of the Chatroom
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    Dude. I remember that picture you had of your tv/gaming setup. Id date you for your money too if you let me. XD
     
  18. Shi

    Shi The Aspirer
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    @Interest1ng lol, it definitely does happen that way often, but I'll tell you what: If you can find a girl who is willing to part with her money for you, she's a keeper. The best relationships I've ever had were the ones where my gf said no to me paying for everything. For me, these were also the relationships that was hardest on both of us when we would break up. Often times, it has to do with logistics and/or career where it doesn't make sense for us to be together anymore (hence why I said I still talk to them).

    @Dunn x Dolo
    Next year when I move out, I'll post up an update. There's a 4K OLED UHD TV now. lol
     
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  19. Oh Snape

    Oh Snape House Bantsratheon
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    Lol at chicks who wear high heels. Serves you right for being taller than me. And remember guys, you don't need to hold the door open. Outlaw rules yo.
     
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  20. Mr. Mister

    Mr. Mister Is Breaking Down

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    The rule of time. Although there is no set time limit on when one should start dating, if one has not done so by a particular age, which varies from person to person, you will be judged harshly for not participating. And since I am almost 30, a time when most people believe that if a male has not dated or had sex by, then they are deficient as a human being, I think I am about to hit the end of the road, so to speak.
     

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